The GR8 Journey

Growth or a warning sign? How I tell the difference

Ever had growing pains? I used to get pains in my legs so bad. My grandmother would say, “them growing pains. You just growing.” She'd then pull out a bottle of that green alcohol and rub my legs down. I'm not sure if it worked or not, but I always felt better after.

I was a kid, so I believed her completely. The pain meant something good was happening. My body was becoming something it wasn't yet, and the ache was just the receipt.

Nobody told me the pains come back at every age, in every form, and there's no grandmother with a green bottle waiting for you at forty.

Becoming a full-time entrepreneur was the most significant time in my life where I have felt mentally uncomfortable. I want to sit with that sentence for a second, because I think we skip past it too fast. Not “the hardest.” Not “the most challenging.” Mentally uncomfortable. I quit my 9-to-5 due to mental health overload — that discomfort was already in the room before I left, and leaving didn't make it disappear. It just changed shape.

So here's the question I actually get asked, and the one this whole post is for: how do you know if what you're feeling is growth, or if it's a warning sign?

I wish I had a clean formula. I don't. But I've learned to ask myself a few things when the discomfort shows up.

Is it pointing me toward something, or away from everything? Growth usually has a direction attached to it, even a shaky one. You're uncomfortable because you're stretching toward a specific thing — a harder conversation, a bigger ask, a version of the work you haven't done before. Something else entirely is happening when the discomfort has no direction. When it's just heaviness. When it's not “I'm scared of this next step” but “I don't want to take any step.” That's not growing pains. That's your body telling you something needs more than encouragement.

Does it ease when I move, or does it follow me? Real growing pains loosen their grip once you're actually doing the thing. You take the step and the fear gets smaller, even a little. If the weight follows you into everything — into rest, into the parts of your life that used to feel safe — that's not the ache of becoming. That's something asking for real attention.

I'll say this plainly because it matters: some of what you're carrying is genuinely growth, and some of it may also require the guidance of a licensed professional, to facilitate the proper healing and growth. Those two things aren't in competition. You can be building something real and need more support than a pep talk and a favorite cousin's voice in your ear. If what you're feeling doesn't ease and doesn't have a direction, please talk to someone qualified to help you carry it. Encouragement is not treatment, and I'm not going to pretend it is.

That's the line I keep coming back to. Discomfort isn't proof you're doing it wrong. It's also not proof you're doing it right. It's just data. Your job is to actually read it instead of running from it or worshipping it.

My grandmother was right about one thing she never got to finish explaining. The growing pains do come back. Every time you become something new, some part of you aches on the way there. That's not a sign to quit. It's also not a sign to grind through anything and everything without checking in on yourself.

You just growing. Pay attention to what kind.

And remember — it's not just the greatness for me, it's the greatness for you too!